“Women have a competition factor with each other, even if they don’t want to. When they go to a guy for advice, we don’t have a bias. I come from a blank slate. I can share where it works well and where it doesn’t without threatening your choices.”
I want to take a second to talk about this quote and am so interested in getting your thoughts and opinions. When I first read this quote, as a women, I was initially a little offended by it. As I read it more and thought about it I do see a lot of truth in it and it had me questioning WHY??
As women, we always state that we want to support and encourage other women, that we want them to succeed in life, be the one to run the world, etc - which I genuinely think is true.
However, as a mom I think it is very easy to get defensive when another mom starts giving advice, sharing their point of view and providing tips. Even if what she is saying is genius, I think because it comes from another mom we automatically throw a shield up and aren’t as open to it if it came from a man. As the quote says, a man is somehow less threatening.
I know I am guilty of this. When I was first a mom I would talk about the bad days / hardship with friends, but once they started providing tips that worked for them I somehow found myself getting defensive, I almost immediately closed myself off from truly hearing what they were saying. I blocked out the positive and helpfulness of their words and only saw the criticism (which wasn’t even there!)
As I got older and more seasoned in this life of a mom I LOVE and CRAVE hearing tips and advice from other parents but it took me a bit to realize there isn’t any judgement from someone providing you the knowledge of what worked for them.
I think a part of this is because of the mom culture that has been created through social media. The mom-bashing, mom-shaming, the constant bombardment of ‘perfect’ parenting and ‘perfect’ kids on social media. It’s almost as if we are all walking around with the fear of someone finding out we have no idea what we are doing, when in reality we ALL have no idea what we are doing. We view a difference of opinion as somehow belittling our opinion – as if there can only be one right way to be a mom.
I do think there are a lot of sanctimommy moms out there, but I think the vast majority of moms want to help, support and work with one another. Unfortunately, the sanctimommy’s give everyone else a bad name.
What are your thoughts on all of this?